The sun’s shining through the windows, the coffee I’m drinking in my favorite cup with the words “Good Morning Beautiful” is dark and warm and still my heart is broken. In the last few weeks, I’ve had two significant losses, one of which was a loyal companion at my side for 13 years, my dog, Kona.
This isn’t my first four-legged loss. But whether it’s your life chapter, your age or the years you had with a pet, you don’t need to explain away your grief (which is common for a pet).
The grief is real. And so is the emptiness.
I know what you’re thinking though, it’s a dog.
True.
Physically yes, he was. But he was also so much more.
Kona was a breathing life at my side for 13 years. A best friend on walks, biking trails, adventures. We filled time together. He was a friend who got excited when I did, wagged his tail when I danced wildly around the house, loved my silly side and was happy to play any time. He looked to me for food, water, safety and love. He was a purpose to my life that I structured my time and day around.
I was a dog mama!
And that’s gone. For now.
If you live long enough, loss happens. Death, divorce, empty nest, career change, ages and stages, injury, illness, loss of hopes and dreams, etc. Letting go is as much a part of life as embracing.
Listening to my Headspace App I’m told, “Grief work is part of our bodies repair work.” It doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.
When we’re grieving, our feelings come and go like waves. It’s a reminder that we’re truly emotional beings. Noticing these feelings and allowing them their space is a big part of the healing process.
Minutes pass and eventually one day a new reality sets in where you might begin to notice the feeling of acceptance. Then hopefully over time, you may notice a smidge more happiness than pain in your day.
Because there is life after loss.
And surprisingly, pharmacists can have an important role to play when you’re trying to manage your way through life’s lowest ebbs.
Along with medication and knowledge, pharmacists dispense care and attention. You’re not alone on this journey.
One of the first points of contact in the healthcare system, pharmacists are often overlooked. Research done at the University of Alberta show that patients see their pharmacist more than any other health provider. They may not be able to heal your broken heart with a magic pill, but with their holistic approach they can listen, ask questions, and make sure your grief isn’t adversely affecting your physiological or psychological health, or vice versa.
And there are some unique ways for them to help.
Your pharmacist is an access point to other community resources, and because connection and being with others is vitally important to your overall health and happiness, pharmacists, like the ones at Pharmasave Jasper, can write a Social Prescription. Working with Community Outreach and Jasper Seniors 55+ Prescribing Program, they can literally write a prescription for social support to complement your medical care and improve your well-being.
Also, at Pharmasave Jasper, Merv is one of a few leading pharmacists who can literally write a Nature Prescription. That’s right. Nature. Growing studies and evidence has finally caught up to what a lot of us already know. Nature makes us happier and has health benefits on our body. From diabetes and heart disease to anxiety and depression, connecting to nature is a powerful way to improve your wellness.
For me, walking in the forest (something Kona and I did together) is a prescription worth filling. I feel lighter, grounded, creative. I’m happier. I can breathe. It’s my self care.
And self care isn’t selfish.
Getting by is about all you can do when you’re grieving, at least for awhile. It’s easy to neglect your needs but feeling good starts with self care. Sleep, exercise, nutrition, hydration, fun. Listening to your needs and searching for that little nugget of goodness can pull you from despair into the light. A shower. Going to bed early. A walk in the warm sun. Allowing yourself to laugh with a friend.
Saying yes to things that fill you up, literally fill you up. So, at your own pace, find a renewed determination to move towards the stuff that’s good for you. See how it feels.
And remember, it may take awhile to see it, but with age comes beautiful surprises, even out of loss - Friendship. Love. Strength. Happiness. Health. To cry and rage at the world and be heartbroken because we loved so much is a beautiful thing. This is the beauty of being older. Having the wisdom to know that underneath that pain means that we were brave enough to open our heart. We cared. We loved. It’s the only legacy we should be striving for.
My new “grand” puppy has arrived. All that love I have for Kona is ready to be poured over into this little one. And yes, I’ll head out onto the trails letting nature do its work. And in my hand, I’ll still have a leash, because I’m not ready, to let it go … yet.
Laurie-Ell Bashforth is the owner of Pharmasave Jasper and a professional Life + Leadership Coach.
