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Women share their wisdom

T. Nichols photo The Jasper Adult Learning Centre celebrated International Women’s Day March 8, bringing together close to 20 women to share their wisdom and thoughts in an informal setting.

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T. Nichols photo

The Jasper Adult Learning Centre celebrated International Women’s Day March 8, bringing together close to 20 women to share their wisdom and thoughts in an informal setting.

The afternoon started off casually, with women from their early 30s to late 80s parked at tables discussing the biggest changes they have seen in women’s rights during their lifetime.

The discussion was varied, with women weighing in on everything from the shifting attitudes towards violence against women to the struggle to imbue young girls with self-confidence to the role men play in childcare in today’s society.

“I love to see all the dads out there with their kids, and taking an active role taking care of their kids,” remarked Jill Stafford, saying that in the 50s and 60s not many girls got to know their fathers, and that she loves that it’s happening today.

Susan Wittke also remarked on the changing gender dynamic in today’s society, and how it can be difficult for both women and men to navigate.

“A woman does not need a man to take care of her, but she still would like a man to walk beside her.”

The conversation lasted for nearly an hour, and as the group broke for a quick break, women continued to chat amicably as they munched on egg salad sandwiches and lemon squares.

At one table a woman with a thick accent spoke about what it was like for women in Europe during the war. At another, two women chatted about their love of gardening.

The main point of the afternoon was to hear what wisdom each woman had gleaned from her life, and to accomplish that, several women were asked to speak to the group and answer three questions: what tools did they use to cope with hard times; what single word or phrase of advice would they give; and what book had most inspired them?

Paula Klassen was the first to speak, and she reflected on the process of letting her hair go grey. In a culture that puts so much value on physical beauty, the decision is a difficult one for many women. But Klassen said that her experience of “letting go” was in many ways a cathartic one.

“I’m like a proud little peacock now with my streak of grey up here,” she said, noting that going grey, like many decisions in her life, has been a rich learning experience.

Klassen said she takes inspiration from the Cree culture, in which she said the only people who speak in the past tense are the elders.

So while those elders can talk about what they have learned in the past, everyone else talks about what they are learning in the present. Klassen said she always tries to position her words in the framework of “I’m learning,” and that has been a powerful mode of reflection for her.

In one of the more poignant moments of the afternoon, Klassen also paid tribute to the “beautiful, beautiful women who have taught and are still teaching” her.

Naming friends of hers that had recently passed away, she invited the other women in the room to name women who had inspired them that were no longer with us.

She fell silent, and as that silence stretched the air felt thick and heavy. Ten seconds passed; fifteen. Then, a soft voice cracked the silence, and a woman softly called out a name.

Another voice, this one stronger, called out another, starting a chorus of voices all calling out the names of women they lost. Some were loud and clear, others barely more than a croaked whisper.

“Let’s just acknowledge our beautiful ancestors,” Klassen said, after the cascade had finished.

Along with Klassen, Grace Kohn, Jill Stafford, Janet Barker and Marnie Oatway also answered the three questions.

“The biggest way to relieve stress is to get outside and be in nature,” Oatway told the group, saying that not just being in nature, but being in nature alone is incredibly important, because it helps us find clarity and serenity.

She also talked about the importance of self-reflection and trusting oneself.

“Never stop investigating yourself, and never stop finding things that calm you down or fire you up.

“It’s really easy to get wrapped up in what we should be doing, trust the journey, and more importantly enjoy the journey.”

At the end of the conversation the plates of snacks were picked over and more than three hours of wisdom had been shared, marking the end of a successful event.

Trevor Nichols
[email protected]

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