Well men of Jasper, Valentine’s Day has come, do you have a surprise picked out for that special someone yet? And ladies, have you got anything planned for the one that owns your heart?

I have never been a particular fan of Valentine’s Day, as I have been unattached most years. This year I am attached – but will be celebrating Valentine’s Day long distance, as my boyfriend Josh is attending school in Phoenix. We’re trying to think of ways to make this year special from our respective locations, but short of each finding a restaurant in our towns that has internet capabilities and a table for one, I’m fresh out of ideas. 

I was ready to eschew the idea of Valentine’s Day altogether, as we celebrate our one year anniversary this month too, but the idea came up to do something – via Skype – on the 14th. Now I feel like I am the specimen in some sort of experiment on relationships in 2011. Just how does a long distance couple deal with anniversaries and Valentine’s Day when a trip isn’t in the budget?

The problem with Phoenix is that it happens to be a sun destination for a lot of Canadians, and a trip in February wasn’t exactly feasible for my budget, and his school schedule. We have postponed any anniversary celebrations for the month of March, when flight prices drop off and midterms are over. Hey, it’s still our one year and a month anniversary, right?

I went in search of Valentines this week to send to my friends, chocolates for my sister, and a card for Josh. I was wholly disappointed by the mushy, gooey and downright sugary cards I found. There were cards saying how much I can’t live without my partner, and well, I am living without my partner, so that wouldn’t do. The closest I found to describe how I felt in my long-distance relationship was one that said something about being a busy working couple trying to plan time together. I didn’t find any cards that featured two people on opposite sides of a computer screen.

I don’t think guys like roses or hearts either, and the chocolate section yielded little else. Luckily, as I was about to give up, I found a selection of chocolates shaped like hearts, but decorated as baseballs, basketballs and more. I selected a pigskin one for my football-loving boyfriend and felt about 50 per cent satisfied. 

I remember one year I bought a package of vintage Valentines with slogans straight out of the ‘50s; a lady hippo in a dress saying “Tons of love for you, Valentine,” and my personal favourite, a little cat that said “No kitten, I love you!”

I think Valentine’s Day has changed, and it seems retailers have failed to catch up to 2011. It was time to take matters into my own hands. 

I went home and dug out my coloured markers from grade school, and found some paper. My new idea is to just colour my own Valentines with snarky, witty comments my friends will appreciate. I am well known for my terrible stick figure art work – pirates are my speciality. 

As for Josh, he gets his football chocolate and hopefully, some sort of Skype date with his girlfriend, 2,777 kilometres away, and perhaps a homemade Valentine with a train that says: “I choo choo choose you!”

Let’s hope he gets over my cheesy Valentines tricks and we make it to Valentine’s Day 2012.  

DISCLAIMER: The Last Word is an opinion column, it is meant to provoke thought and debate. As such, any opinions written here are the writers own and do not reflect the viewpoint of any other Fitzhugh staff member or the directors of the Jasper Media Group Inc.