Last week I was out of town for the end of the week, and hectically packing and finishing up last minute stories for the beginning of it, so checking my mailbox slipped my mind. 

I finally got around to it today, and when I opened my box, crumpled up flyers sprung out at me. Canada Post had apparently continued to stuff things in there despite how obviously full it was. I struggled to gather the 30 or so flyers in my arms and headed to the sorting table. Along with several other post office goers, I sorted through the junk mail for the five letters I actually wanted. The rest were tossed in what I hope is a recycling bin. Maybe those flyers have a future of being recycled into more junk I won’t read. Ah, what a dream.

The flyers were for all sorts of box stores and shops we don’t have here in Jasper. I received an M&M Meats flyer, and was reminded that we don’t actually have one of those here. I suddenly began craving their honey garlic chicken wings and individually-packaged scalloped potatoes. It was lunch time and I had a cup of raman noodles to look forward to. 

Shoppers Drug Mart is offering a ton of sales – but we have a Rexall drug store here. I apparently won a Mazda car, if I choose to drive to Grand Cache to pick it up. Fantastic. I also won one the week before, so now I have two I guess. 

I realize we have some of these businesses in Hinton, and now that I know there’s an M&M Meats there I will be making a stop next time I go in for a shopping trip. But seriously Canada Post, the amount of waste that is being shoved into my mailbox on a weekly basis is getting out of hand. When did I sign up for this junk?

I don’t claim to be the most eco-friendly person in the world, but sorting through that much wasteful garbage hurts just a little. I also worry about losing my real mail amongst the piles of junk as I sort. 

A lot of my letters come wrinkled and crushed, because my tiny mailbox just doesn’t have enough space for them with all the garbage stuffed in there. I received my Alberta license in the mail, and it was badly folded. My GST cheque was bent in half, and so were my other important papers. 

Canada Post, can you cut it out? Is there a way I can express to you that I don’t want to know about deals on toothbrushes, vitamins or Mazdas? I have a preferred brand of toothbrush, I am a fairly healthy person besides the occasional Cold-FX regimen I put myself on when I get a tickle in my throat and I have a car that runs, I don’t need two more. 

I just want my generally upsetting student loan documents, and the occasional snail-mail letter from my teacher friend in Lloydminster. I would prefer if the flyers were printed in a smaller quantity, and interested patrons could select them from a newspaper rack if they so choose. 

Thanks for listening. I’ll yell thank you through my hopefully empty mail box next time I’m there.

DISCLAIMER: The Last Word is an opinion column, it is meant to provoke thought and debate. As such, any opinions written here are the writers own and do not reflect the viewpoint of any other Fitzhugh staff member or the directors of the Jasper Media Group Inc.