Federal budget restricts alcohol consumption in national parks

Changes to a little-known provision in the National Parks Act will prohibit the consumption of alcohol in Jasper from June to September.

As part of the federal budget, subsection 4.0.1. of the act has been amended to essentially make Jasper National Park a dry zone beginning June 1 through Sept. 30.

Flowing from the government’s socially-conservative roots, the summer prohibition will encompass all national parks including the communities within their borders.

Jasperites and tourists alike will now have a more “wholesome” national parksexperience, according to a press release on the Conservative’s website.

Apart from the moral reasoning for this amendment, prohibition will provide for a “safer, cleaner, and more environmentally sustainable” tourist season, the press release said.

Parks Canada is pleased with the change because it will allow each park greater ease fulfilling mandates, fundamentally, the protection of Canada’s national treasures.

Jasper National Park Superintendent Greg Fenton said he supports the initiative, though it may be controversial. “There is evidence that prohibiting alcohol sales and consumption will protect the park, wildlife, as well as our Wardens who are now law-enforcement officers,” said Fenton.

Fenton was also quick to point out that Parks Canada’s scientists have discovered unusual kinds of liver damage in elk and big-horn sheep, normally associated with chronic alcohol abuse in humans. “The influx of a large number of visitors during the summer has, based on numerous wildlife studies from different national parks, made the issue of alcohol consumption a serious concern,” he said.

“Although it is not clear how the wildlife are ingesting booze, it is certain that they are,” Fenton said, adding that “our mandate is to ensure the long-term viability of our wildlife population and prohibiting alcohol sales and consumption will go a long way to fulfilling many aspects of that mandate.”

There is also the issue of garbage. “Last year we instituted a 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. alcohol prohibition at our campsites, which not only reduced outrageous behaviour and complaints, but also reduced by about a third the amount of garbage collected at campsite bins,” said Fenton.

The Municipality of Jasper is somewhat surprisingly enthusiastic about prohibition.

“We’re pleased with this on a number of levels,” said Mayor Richard Ireland. “We want to make Jasper a more family-friendly summer vacation destination,” he said, “not simply a party-hardy-anything-goes town. We know that our support will be controversial, but prohibition for the summer months is the way to go for long-term economic viability.”

“We realize that this will take some getting used to,” said Ireland, but that “this is also a great way to not only make over Jasper’s image, but do a lot in the way of reducing vandalism and crime in the Patricia Street area.” Both Fenton and Ireland are eager to persuade the visiting public that Jasper isn’t a “Woodstock in the woods” type of destination and that families should feel safe whether in town, at a campsite or in the backcountry.

“There is a concern about bootlegging,” said Ireland, adding that penalties are severe, which he hopes will deter people from breaking the law. Vehicles will be searched on entrance to the park, with fines ranging from $100 per beer bottle, up to five years in jail for a trafficking offence. Local businesses caught selling alcohol will be immediately shut down, possibly in perpetuity, based on the extent of the violation and even if a business is allowed to re-open, it will have to apply for a new liquor license.

Finally, if you have read this far without calling Mayor Ireland or Superintendent Fenton, kudos to you because this is a hoax. April Fools! Neither Ireland or Fenton were interviewed for this article and the entire piece, including the quotes, are completely fabricated. Hope you’re not too mad, we just thought a little spring humour was due.